Remember The Time
by RosalynOfTheNight
Summary: Oswin x Ten AU Ten lands on Starship Alaska where he meets Oswin who remembers her real life with the Doctor and saves Ten but when he wants to take her with him, driven by her feelings, she accepts and both have to face the consequences.
1. Prologue

_Do You Remember_  
_When We Fell In Love_  
_We Were Young And Innocent Then_  
_Do You Remember_  
_How It All Began_  
_It Just Seemed Like Heaven_  
_So Why Did It End?_

_Do You Remember_  
_Back In The Fall_  
_We'd Be Together_  
_All Day Long_  
_Do You Remember_  
_Us Holding Hands_  
_In Each Other's Eyes_  
_We'd Stare_

* * *

My name is Oswin Oswald. I'm junior entertainment manager on Starship Alaska. I'm cool and I'm a genius. I like to make soufflés but I burn them every time. So I'm not a genius when it comes to cooking. Actually, my name isn't Oswin, it's just what I'm called here. My real name is Clara. I'm Clara Oswald and I am a perfectly ordinary girl. That's what I was until I met the Doctor and of course, it was the best day of my life.

I always wanted to travel and see all the places in my book my mother gave to me and the Doctor gave me all of time and space. In his little blue box we travelled across the whole universe. He showed me the stars. I saw galaxies, and planets and stars. We ran a lot and saved the world. He is a clever, funny, caring, thousand year old time lord with two hearts who travels through time and space and he really needs a companion. There is just one problem when you meet this mad and wonderful alien. He doesn't like endings. You think your journey would last forever; you want to travel with him forever because you never get tired of the running and all the beautiful things he shows you. You could spend the rest of your life with him but he can't be the rest of his life with you.

There is a trick and I did that trick a lot. I mean I really tried. But it was all for nothing.

The trick is, don't fall in love.

The trick didn't work for me and that meant the end of the world.

When he turned up with his time machine I couldn't resist to come with him. That was when it all started. I got lost in my feelings for the Doctor ignoring the fact that it could never be forever and so I messed up time and the consequences were fatal…

"Clara! My Clara."

The words had echoed in my head again and again. I awoke at home in my bed. Actually in my bed at the Maitland's home. My second home. My real home was in the TARDIS. With the Doctor. But I would never admit that.

I tried to remember what happened. I saw the Doctors greatest secret, he said it was him but not the Doctor, the one who broke the promise. Then I fainted. It was hard to wrap my head around what actually happened recently at Trenzalore and inside the Doctors time stream because there were so many other lives inside my head, too. There were all the times I met and saved the Doctor and I saw timelines even I shouldn't remember but I could see them all like I remembered the day we went to the centre of the TARDIS. One of them made me blush and my heart began to race when the pictures became clearer in my head.

"Oh my stars!"

I smiled brightly and jumped out of the bed and ran downstairs where I found the Doctor playing with the Maitland's kids.

"Doctor!"

I ran towards him and fell into his arms the one place where I belonged.


	2. Part 1

_Do You Remember The Time  
When We Fell In Love  
Do You Remember The Time  
When We First Met  
Do You Remember The Time  
When We Fell In Love  
Do You Remember The Time_

* * *

The big digital clock over the slide doors showed that it was quarter past six in the evening. All the children were already gone and Oswin Oswald was alone in the kids entertainment place of the Alaska. She just had finished tidying up the mess the children had made, toys and pencils scattered all around the floor and tables, as her eyes fell on the clock above her. She sighed.

Every evening when her job with the kids was done an uneasy feeling of restlessness came over her. She knew exactly why. She was missing something. Moreover she was missing _someone_.

She turned off the lights and sealed the doors when she left the place. When she returned to her own room she sank down on her bed. What could she do the rest of the evening? She needed something to do that could distract her otherwise she would go insane by thinking too much.

She would think about her other life. Her real life. Her life with the Doctor. She remembered it well. She remembered all of it. She remembered the day he turned up on her doorstep in that funny monk cloak when they had their first adventure together up to the day they went to Trenzalore where they found the Doctors tomb. There she jumped into his time stream to save his life and she got scattered all across his life saving him and dying by doing so. She remembered everything, all of her echoes in the Doctors time stream. All the times she met him from Gallifrey to Trenzalore.

All those lives where scrambled up in her head and sometimes she thought she must become insane. Oswin shook her head trying to push the paining memories of her lost life away. She was wondering every day when she would see the Doctor again at last.

When you have travelled with the Doctor you can't imagine a life without him anymore, that's what Oswin felt now. Lost in a place where she didn't belong, all alone waiting for him to turn up in his magic blue box taking her away to show her the stars. That's where she belonged. To the Doctor in the TARDIS.

She sighed again, stood up and went over to her desk where she turned on her laptop. She started the security scan and a programme to check for unexpected activity inside and around the ship. When the loneliness and the thinking became too much for her she always did some research to distract herself. A little while ago she had noticed that something wasn't right with the ship. She had talked to the commander about it but he hadn't taken her serious. So she went investigating herself because she was really worried about the strange noises she heard every now and then from the engines room. She hadn't been there looking for it yet because she wasn't allowed there but she was almost done with hacking into the security system of the ship so that she would have free access to the engines room.

Her laptop beeped, telling her that everything was in order.

"Oh come on, there must be something!" Oswin snarled at the laptop raising her hands in frustration. Out of desperation she did another scan. Biting her lip she tried again to hack the security system. Suddenly a row of beeps startled her. A window had opened and red blinking words said: Warning! Unknown alien activity detected.

"Gotcha!"

Oswin clapped her hands together. She clicked on the warning and a map opened where the location of the detection was marked. It was right near the engines room. "I knew it." She closed the programme and her laptop. She rushed around her room and collected some things she thought she might need, like a torch and a communicator, and put them in the pockets on her belt.

Then she made her way down to the heart of the ship. On her way she had to sneak past the kitchen and the maintenance and the door of the latter stood open. Luckily Louis was too distracted by the TV-show he was watching to notice her.

Relieved that no one has seen her she reached the lowest floor and she could already hear the humming of the engines. When she turned into the corridor that lead to the heavy door of the engines room she bumped into someone. She bounced back and stumbled a few steps backward before she looked up into the face of a man she knew very well. Her eyes became wide, her mouth agape.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said. "Are you alright?"

Oswin nodded.

"I'm the Doctor by the way. Who are you? And where exactly am I?"

* * *

tbc


	3. Part 2

Oswin couldn't believe it. Finally the Doctor had arrived. But it wasn't her Doctor. It was an earlier version of him. She had seen him before but he had never really met her yet.

But it didn't matter to her right in this moment. The Doctor was there and behind him she could see the glow of the lights of the TARDIS in the dim-lighted corridor. That was all that mattered to her.

She just stared at him. His hair wasn't floppy but short and messy; his old brown eyes looked at her in curiosity. She remembered that she owed him an answer.

"Oh, I'm Oswin. Oswin Oswald, junior entertainment manager and this is the Alaska."

"Nice to meet you, Oswin!" he smiled at her and her heart raced in excitement.

She smiled back. "You came in the right moment, Doctor. As always." He looked puzzled. "Why is that?" he asked.

"There's something wrong here. I think it's in the engines room."

"Oh, yeah?" The Doctor paused for a second and stood completely still. Then he grinned and nodded at Oswin.

"I think that, too. And I guess it's over there?" He pointed to the metal door with the warning triangle and the 'no access' sign.

"Yep. You're a clever boy," Oswin said but the Doctor had already dashed away.

She rolled her eyes and followed. She had to pass the TARDIS and stood in front of it for a moment in sentimental thoughts touching the blue wooden doors that so often wouldn't have opened for her. The whirring sound of the sonic screwdriver pulled her out and she joined the Doctor at the door. He just had soniced it open. "Let's find out what's in there," he said in a low but excited voice and grinned like a child on Christmas.

They entered the machine room and were welcomed by loud rattling and thudding sounds and hot steam that came out of the pipes that led along the walls and the ceiling. The condensation of the cooling water was dripping from the ceiling. Other than this Oswin couldn't hear any strange noises. They walked further inside, Oswin right on the Doctors heels. Suddenly she dropped dead pulling at the Doctors sleeve; he turned and followed the terrified look on her face. There behind a huge tank two feet in leather boots looked out. It was a young man lying on the floor in a blood stain. His throat was cut. Oswin clapped her hand over her mouth. It wasn't exactly clean cut but literally ripped apart.

"That's… that's Terry, one of the engineers. He was probably checking if anything's in order down here."

The Doctor knelt down beside the body and did a few scans with his sonic with no result. He looked at her "I'm sorry," he said with a sorrowful and sad expression. Oswin closed her eyes for a moment.

"What is going on here?" she asked. "What killed him?"

"I don't know…yet." He got up to his feet and put a hand on Oswins shoulder squeezing it gently. "Come on let's find out."

While they walked further the humming and rattling of the main engine became louder with every step.

"Stay with me," the Doctor said. Oswin laughed out quietly. "I'm not the one to wander off, trust me."

He looked at her a little irritated. "Good."

Suddenly he raised his hand in alarm. "Did you hear that?"

She nodded. Over the engine noises she could hear something else. Something she had heard before. It was like a muffled knocking. "Oh, no," the Doctor breathed and a lump formed in his throat. That sound wasn't a good sign. He scanned their surroundings but couldn't find anything. Oswin went carefully behind him. Then she noticed something on the floor. It was a big stain but it was not like all the other oil and water stains on the floor. It was bigger and still fluid. She squatted down to get a closer look. It was dark red and thick. Blood, she thought, but not human.

"Doctor!" she called. "Over here!" He rushed towards her and scanned it with the sonic. "What is it?" Oswin asked. His eyes became wide his expression terrified. "Something bad." "What?" Oswin squeaked. "Weevil blood," the Doctor said, looking attentively around.

"Weevils are dangerous creatures that hunt and kill humans. But how got a free Weevil here on the ship? We have to be very careful. Watch out, it can attack rapidly and tear your throat apart like it did with poor Terry." Oswin gulped and nodded.

Slowly and quietly they went on following the Weevil blood stains, Oswin clung to the Doctors arm. She was a bit scared but she would never admit it. They weren't far from the main engine when they found an iron cage which doors were broken and open. "What the hell?"

"Doctor what is happening here?" Oswin asked. "That I'm asking you. Why is a blood thirsty weevil caged in here? Well, obviously was caged here. Now it's free. It's wounded but it can still attack us right now."

"I don't know! Why would somebody do that?" She looked around, listening carefully. The doctor was busy scanning with his sonic again, observing the cage and the ground.

Then it happened in a second. Oswin let out a high pitched scream. "Doctor!" He turned around and she jumped at him, knocking him to the ground. The weevil roared and Oswin and the Doctor stared at it in shock. Its mouth was bloody and the eyes glowing red. It howled again, going for another attack. They looked at each other.

"Oswin…!"

"Let me guess: RUN!" The Doctor nodded and just as they were about to get to their feet again there was a bang and the beast froze for a moment before it let out a moan and collapsed to the ground.

Oswin sighed and looked at the Doctor. He gave her a nod that he was alright and they looked up. A man with a gun stood behind the dead Weevil. "Harvey!" Oswin got to her feet and ran to him. "Thank God! But what are you doing here?"

"I saw first Commander Harris and then you coming down here. Then I heard strange noises so I thought I have a look and found the door open." Oswin frowned. "Commander Harris?"

"Yeah, he must be here somewhere. By the way, who is this?" Harvey gestured to the Doctor who had joined them now. "I'm the Doctor." He said. "Thank you for helping us." "How do you…?" Oswin interrupted him.

"We can discuss that later. I have the feeling that …"

She stopped mid-sentence and Harvey turned as there was a dry laughter.

"Commander!" Harvey put up his gun at Harris.

"Oi!" The Doctor jumped into motion and to Harvey's side. He put a hand on his arm. The Doctor looked seriously at him. "I don't think that's necessary."

"Oh, I think it is," the Commander snarled and pulled his own gun from its holder.

"Oh, no, please not," the Doctor pleaded.

Oswin took a step forward between the two parties.

"Guys, stop. Listen to him. Commander, what the hell is going on? What is a bloody Weevil doing here on board?"

"That's a good question, actually," the Doctor agreed.

Harvey had lowered his gun but Harris didn't.

"Well, I stole it. Back on earth. There was this guy who caught it and I stole it. "

"But why did you?" Oswin asked.

"Because I want to sell it to a collector. I know someone who would pay me a nice prize for it." "Oh that's stupid. You put us all in danger for the money." The doctor hissed.

"I'll call the Captain!" Oswin reached for the communicator on her belt and Harris pointed his gun at her. She froze. "No, you won't."

The Doctor raised his hand, armed with his sonic.

"Put the gun down," he said firmly.

"Or what?" Harris laughed.

"One."

Harris laughed again holding the gun at the Doctor now.

"Two." The Doctor still pointed the Sonic screwdriver at him.

Harris didn't move.

"Three."

The sonic whirred and then there was a bang, sparks flew and Harris dropped the gun. It fell down and the Commander held his hand in pain.

"I warned you," the Doctor shrugged.

Oswin got her communicator and called the bridge.

"Captain. This is Oswin. We have some trouble down here in the engines room." The Doctor and Harvey held the Commander until two securities and the Captain came. "What's this about?" the Captain asked. "What are you all doing down here? And who is he?" he pointed at the Doctor.

Oswin explained it to him and they got Harris arrested. They would drop him of at the next space station where he would get into the next shuttle back to earth and into prison.

When they have commander Harris locked away the captain turned to the Doctor. "Now I'd like to know who you are and what you are doing here on my ship?"

The Doctor smiled friendly at him.

"I'm the Doctor and I landed accidently here. Actually, I was heading for the Ood Sphere but my ship well she's not always very reliable." He scratched the back of his head. "I'm sorry to interfere but when I landed here I met the lovely Oswin here and she told me that something is wrong so I thought since I'm already here maybe I could help."

"It's alright, Captain. He's ok. And he really helped us."

"Then I shall thank you, Doctor."

"Oh it's nothing. Dear Oswin should take the credits. She saved me from the Weevil."

"Is that so? Then I thank you too. I have to do some paperwork to do. Oswin? I see you and Harvey later in the common room?"

Oswin nodded and the Captain left. The Doctor looked at her and frowned. She looked troubled.

„You alright?"

Oswin smiled. „Yes. That's it then? You take a leave. Where are you going?"

„Uhm, maybe I try another shot at the Ood Sphere," he shrugged and looked down at her.

„Well, then, good luck and thank you Doctor."

„Oh, you're most welcome Oswin Oswald."

The Doctor went to the TARDIS and snapped his fingers. Oswin rolled her eyes again. "Stop showing off, Doctor." They laughed and then looked at each other for a moment. Then Oswin breathed: "I'll miss you."

"One more thing, Oswin."

"Yeah?"

"It may sound weird but just tell me this: Have we met before?"

Oswin hesitated, eyes pinned to the ground.

"Uhm, well actually no but I've seen you before but erm, it's complicated and a bit impossible."

The Doctor nodded. „Spoilers, I guess."

Oswin looked up at him with a grin. „Well, yes that's the word you use."

"Ok, then I bet I see you around."

"Yes, see you, Doctor."

He stepped into the TARDIS but suddenly Oswin followed and stopped him "Wait!"

He turned around. „What?"

"Doctor. It's just…don't travel alone. Promise me. Oh and I just want to say: Run. Run you clever boy and remember me."

„I will I promise," the Doctor said, then turned and closed the door. Oswin stepped back as the TARDIS dematerialized. She closed her eyes and sighed. He was gone. He was gone and she was alive. She saved him and was still alive. Most of her echoes died saving the Doctor. But she didn't wonder much about it she had other problems now. First she had to face the captain later and explain to him why she was down in the engines room in the first place. Second thing was she had to deal with her feelings. Now that she had met the Doctor again her hope raised that it wouldn't be the last time. But it was even harder to wait now. That was all she could think about when she made her way back upstairs to the common room.

Oswin returned from the common room where she was congratulated by the entire crew after the captain had told that she was the one who was responsible that Harris could be arrested. Then she went back to her room and looked around. What now? Was that it? There she was again. The Doctor came and now he was gone again and she was still here. She stood by the window and watched the stars. Where he might be somewhere out there she wondered. She wished she could be with him. But she knew she couldn't. She was just an echo of herself. Maybe she would meet him again sometime, save him again and maybe dying in the act. She wasn't sad of the thought of dying for him but she felt sorry for him because he would have to lose her again. Suddenly she heard a cough and jumped around startled. It was dark in her room and she had to blink to adjust her vision to the bright light that now came from the hall outside into her room. Someone stood in the open door. First it was just a silhouette but she recognised it. She stepped closer.

"Doctor." She said with light surprise in her voice.

"What are you still doing here?"

"I was thinking a little and came to the conclusion that you were right with what you said."

"What did I say?"

"What you said about me and traveling alone."

"Oh." Oswin didn't know what to expect but her heartbeat increased in speed.

"You were right. I shouldn't travel alone. So you want to come with me then? Seeing the stars?"

He held out his hand for her. With a bright smile on her face she took it gladly and fell into his arms. It felt like returning home after a long time. She was in the place where she belonged. It felt different because it was a different Doctor but it still felt so right.

Oswin gave the Alaska one last look before she followed the Doctor into the TARDIS.

"Wow, it looks nice." She hadn't seen this custom of the interior yet.

"So you also know about the…" he waved around with his hand in a cycle. "The bigger on the inside stuff. Yeah, I know, time lord technology."

The Doctor nodded in respect. She was brilliant. But who was she?

Oswin leaned against the bars, arms crossed over her chest. "So, where or when are we going?

The Doctor walked around the panel. "Well, I think the Oods can wait. Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere."

With him anywhere was fine, she thought.

He put in some coordinates, pushed some buttons and pulled the lever and the TARDIS took off. Destination anywhere in time and space. Oswin was extremely excited when she opened the door. Where had the Doctor taken her this time? She was sure it was somewhere awesome.

* * *

tbc

btw if anyone is wondering the for the Doctor's timeline it's right before "The End of Time", Oswin is pre-Asylum of The Daleks" and Clara and Eleven are post "The Name of The Doctor".


	4. Part 3

Oswin Oswald was brilliant he couldn't help to think that again and again. She was a genius, she was brave, clever and witty, exactly what he needed. She was the perfect diversion when he got upset by the thought that he was supposed to meet his fate soon, his fate that was the end of his song. She was almost too perfect and that scared him a little. He had met a person that had intrigued him like that only once and she had died as she saved him. Oswin knew so much of him and his future and he knew that she couldn't tell him. But he was desperate to know who she really was. How could he possibly find it out, spoiler-free and without corrupting his time line? Obviously it already was corrupted since she knows him from the future so he wasn't going to die, was he? But he still couldn't know for sure.

At first the Doctor was constantly trying to get something out of her, the tiniest clue at least about who she was but always with the same result. She always fed him up with "Spoilers." Or "I Can't tell you, it's your future." Sometimes it was almost driving him mad but he gave it up. For now.

One night when Oswin was asleep in her room in the TARDIS he looked up the data records of the TARDIS but he couldn't find anything about Oswin Oswald. She was a mystery. How can she know about his past and his future without even time traveling? She had obviously travelled with him before in his future. But how could she be here and know about his past as well when he haven't met her before? It were those little things that made him wondering how that was even possible, like one day they were on a shopping trip on earth because Oswin wanted to see here home planet again after being in space for so long and she complained that he was grumpy again, so she took out a small white bag and asked if he want a jelly baby.

Oswins voice and some strange noises caught his attention, concerned he called for his companion. "You alright there?" He thought she was in her room but maybe the TARDIS had moved it again and Oswin got lost somewhere. So he went to look for her and found her in the kitchen, covered in flour, smoke coming from the oven.

"What are you doing?" He asked on the top of his voice, coughing and waving the smoke away with his hand.

"Sorry," she said with a regretful face and tone. "I burnt another soufflé. I just don't get it right today," she sighed, wiping her hands on her coloured striped apron. The Doctor laughed at the sight and couldn't help but declaring that as utterly adorable.

"That's not even funny!" Now she was pouting and he had to try really hard not to find that even more adorable. "Sorry," he said, still chuckling and coming closer to her. "But you look funny."

"What?" She looked up at him with a not so friendly face. The Doctor wiped a bit white flour from her nose with his finger. Oswin blushed and turned away.

"I clean this up." She muttered with her back to him, she only heard a "Mmmm" from him and frowned. "This is good." She turned around, seeing him eating her previous, not burned but sunk in attempt of a soufflé.

"Is it?" she asked a little insecure.

"Yeah," he replied with his mouth full of chocolate soufflé. "Really good." Oswin smiled a little.

"That's better. Come on, let's have some fun. Oswin threw away the apron and followed the Doctor back to the console room. "Where are we going?" she wanted to know excitingly.

The Doctor grinned. "Barcelona. The planet, not the city."

When they landed and Oswin walked out of the TARDIS she laughed. "I guess this isn't Barcelona." She rolled her eyes. Will they ever get where they wanted to? However, it was her fault; she talked the Doctor into stealing this TARDIS, so she had to deal with it now.

"No, I don't think so," the Doctor agreed, scratching his head. "But where are we?" "Good question but it looks like a jungle to me."

Indeed it was a jungle. Sky-high trees surrounded them, the air was sticky hot and filled with the sounds of exotic birds and insects and all imaginable animals an probably aliens. Oswin thought she could also hear waterfalls or the cascades of a raging stream nearby. Big green leaves of all sorts of plant she wouldn't even recognize at all got in their way as they march deeper into the jungle to find a hint for where exactly they were. Oswin had suggested to consult the TARDIS but the Doctor was just like "That's not as much fun, let's go exploring."

Oswin liked to explore of course but sometimes he was so full of zest and in a mood where he wanted to do everything at the same time. Oswin guessed it was because he thought that his time was running out and she could understand it, however it got exhausting by the time.

"Doctor, wait." She stumbled through the woods behind him, having a hard time to keep up with him. Suddenly she heard a noise that was different, a kind of clicking and something like breathing. She stopped and looked around. It was coming closer; she turned on the spot but couldn't see anything. She searched for the Doctor. He was gone.

Then the noise was right behind her and everything went dark.

When she came to she was tied to a tree with fine silk-like strings that were tight and very strong. She struggled against it without the slightest result. She gave it up quickly as she saw the Doctors back to her. He was talking to a giant, red spider.

"Get out of the way!" The Spider hissed. "This human is my pray."

"Never!" The Doctor shouted back.

"Then I'll kill you, too."

"Come and try. But I warn you. It was me who killed your empress once." The Racnoss spider hissed again. "There are not many of you left. I tell you what, I also committed genocide more than once and if you bend one hair on this human girl I promise you I'll do it again. Starting with you. Understood?"

The Racnoss hesitated for a moment then went down for an attack on him with her huge claws. The Doctor raised his sonic screwdriver pointing it at the Racnoss and it backed off. The spider hissed again, raised the claw again and cut loose the strings that bound Oswin. Then the Racnoss ran back into the forest in fear of the oncoming storm.

The Doctor turned to Oswin. "Are you alright?"

Oswin rubbed her arms. "Yes, I'm fine. But what was that?"

On their way back to the TARDIS he explained her that this alien was a child of the Racnoss and how he killed the Empress of the Racnoss once. "Wow," Oswin was stunned. "And this today was impressive, too."

"Actually, I'm not very proud of either of it."

Oswin frowned. "Come on, I know you had no choice back then and that you just said that genocide thing only to scare the Racnoss away. You wouldn't actually do that, right? Not for me, a single human being." The Doctor looked at her and said nothing. Oswin bite her lip. Obviously she had said something wrong again. They found the TARDIS and entered. Once at the console Oswin kept distance from him. "Let's get out of here," he said and they took off. Oswin sighed and kept silent, she knew it was the best not to push him to anything when he was like that. Not even the fact that the planet they had just been was the biggest and deepest jungle in all the universe with all kind of alien inhabitants could lighten his mood up.

Oswin had left the Doctor on alone and he was glad that she couldn't see his outburst. The recent events had reminded him of his past, what he'd done and what he'd become. He realized, taking Oswin with him and continuing to travel was just him again running away from his guilt and his fate. Also, his guilt had just grown; he was almost regretting that he had taken Oswin away because of him she'd almost been Racnoss food. He wouldn't be able to take it having her blood on his hands, too.

* * *

tbc

btw this chapter is completely dedicated to Clara-Oswald-Whoufflegirl, she helped me so much Thank you I love you baby 3

made some minor edits to the previous chapters.


	5. Part 4

The next day the Doctor said, he had a surprise for her. Oswin, as curious as she was, she wouldn't let go until he would tell her what it was but he remained stubborn and didn't tell her a single word while she got really annoyed. She pouted and gave him the silent treatment, leaning over the bars, looking anywhere but him.

They had landed somewhere but he wouldn't let her see until she promised him to answer him at least one question about her.

"Doctor!" She pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "That's not nice."

"Come on, Oswin, please just one little thing." He downright begged her.

"I told you before, I can't. It's your future," she replied stubbornly.

"But isn't there anything you could tell me before you met me? I mean is Oswin even your real name, I couldn't find it anywhere..."

He stopped as he saw her face becoming outraged and he realized he should not have said this.

"You've looked me up?"

She started to believe she preferred his older version. First blackmailing and no he was spying on her.

"I'm sorry," he said dropping his head. "It's just..you are so…"

"What?" Oswin looked at him in anticipation. Was he going to say it? She would love to hear that word again from his mouth.

"I just don't understand you." He couldn't look at her; he knew he had hurt her. Oswin smiled sadly.

He bit his lip and sighed. "Whatever. You get the surprise anyway."

He smiled brightly at her. "Close your eyes."

Oswin raised an eyebrow. "Trust me?" he asked.

"Of course," she chuckled and closed her eyes. The Doctor turned around and opened the door. Then he grabbed Oswin on her shoulders and led her outside. She felt like they had done this before. Actually she had been at this point before and her heart sank as she remembered her first time with the Doctor on an alien planet. She had saved him there, too.

When she opened her eyes, at first she couldn't see anything because of the brightness that surrounded her. She blinked and when her eyes had adjusted to the light it was breathtakingly beautiful. There were stars everywhere. They were not only above in the sky but all around them. While they walked among the small bright lights that shone in every colour possible, sparkling and glittering they drift out of their way still close enough to light their way and Oswin could almost touch one if she reached out her hand. She looked around and noticed that those little stars were the only source of light around so if it wasn't for them they would walk in absolute darkness. Oswin was totally in aw that she couldn't say anything and the Doctor was impatient for a reaction from her though she smiled brightly, eyes wide and mouth open in astonishment.

"Well?"

She turned around her face all lightened up.

"It's beautiful! I don't know what to say!"

The Doctor smiled back. "I think you said you wanted to see the stars. So here you can see almost all of them. You can also have one on you own if you like. Choose one, I give it to you."

Now she was really beyond amazed. "What? Are you serious? You'd give me my own star?"

"Yes. We can call it Oswin."

Oswin laughed. "Oh, Doctor, thank you. That's just wonderful."

For a while they just stood and watched the stars evolve around them and Oswin looked for one to claim as her own. The Doctor stood next to her and out of the harmonic moment she unknowingly took his hand. For a brief moment he was back on Christmas as the ashes of the Sycorax ship came down, Rose Tyler taking his hand and he asked her which star she would like to see. But then he looked down and saw this impossible girl and he concentrated on her and the mystery she was.

"Found one?" he asked after a while.

Oswin nodded, and pointed at a star with a light red glow. The Doctor took out a glass ball, opened it so that it was in two halves now and walked toward the chosen star as close as he could, reached out and caught it with the glass ball and captured the star in it. Its light filled the whole ball, broke in the glass and produced a rainbow-coloured glow around it.

"Wow," Oswin said. "It's amazing." The Doctor handed her the glowing glass ball and she gazed at her gift in amazement.

"Thank you," she breathed and then out of a sudden hugged the Doctor and took him by surprise. When she let go he cleared his throat. "Let's get back it's dawn soon and the stars will all vanish and then it's completely dark and you don't want to experience that."

They went back to the TARDIS and took off into deep space where Oswin sat on the edge of the threshold of the front door, legs hanging into space and holding her star. Earlier this day she had been mad at him but she never could stay mad at him for long, so all her anger was gone and she almost felt a little guilty. So she stood up and went over to the Doctor who was fixing something on the TARDIS again. That was his way to distract himself when he was in a mood again.

"Doctor."

He looked up, glasses on his nose.

"I'd like to tell you something."

He frowned; that was never a good sentence to start.

"About me," she added.

Now he was listening. "Yeah? Are you sure?"

She nodded and lent against the console, playing with her star in her hands.

"You were right. Oswin isn't my real name. My name is Clara. I'm from Lancashire and I was a nanny."

"Lancashire you mean Lancashire, England, Europe, Earth?"

Oswin laughed. "Yes, of course earth. Did you think I was lying about that?"

He smiled a little awkwardly. "Well, maybe. You were never telling me anything when I ask how I should know if you're telling me the truth."

"I'm sorry. I'm telling you know."

"Alright then."

Oswin took a deep breath. "My mum died when I was 18. It was really hard for me and my dad. But we did it somehow. Then a family we were good friends with lost their wife and mum and I helped out looking for the children."

"That was nice of you."

"I just knew how it must've been for them."

She sighed. "Actually, I was travelling but I came back for them when I heard about their loss."

The Doctor seemed impressed. Oswin now hesitated; she was wondering how much she could tell him or if she even had said too much already?

"Then?" he asked curiously.

"Then…" Oswin was thinking, biting her lip. "Nothing then."

The Doctor was confused.

"But how did you get on the Alaska?"

"Long story."

"We have time, you know." He said, patting the console.

"Right. But I'd like to make it short anyway. So, then I met you, things happened and then I became Oswin and joined the Alaska. That's all I can say."

The Doctor wasn't quite satisfied but he didn't want to push her any further, so he left it at that for the moment.

Later, Oswin sat on the stairs in the control room lost in her thoughts. She had come to the realisation that she could never tell the Doctor about her feelings for him. Not this Doctor. He had just lost so much. He had lost his love, therefore how cruel would it be of her to tell him those words he had last heard from his love he would never see again. She was a bit jealous of Rose Tyler who was now with her own human Doctor and she, Oswin was here with the real Doctor but could never be so close with him. Instead she had to deal with his grief and his changing mood. One day he was all doctorish, funny and mad and then there were times when he was thoughtful, grumpy and just in a bad mood then he won't talk much, just gave her single word answers or told her to shut up. Sometimes she could cheer him up and everything was fine again but sometimes she was a little scared of him. He was pondering and pacing and shouting. Then she thought it better to leave him and retired to her room.

"Oswin?" the Doctor called her when she didn't react he tried again. "Clara, what's wrong?"

He stood right behind her and she looked up at him. "Don't call me that, please."

He sat down beside her. "What's the matter?" he asked and she could tell that he really cared.

She shook her head. "Nothing."

"I don't believe you. I can see it. You're worried about something." He stared at her intensively as if he wanted to force the answer out of her telepathically. She knew it didn't work like that but she instinctively closed her mind as good as she could. She looked back at him and it hurt. It was a different face and different eyes but it was the same look, the same caring, wondering look he'd given her before or rather his future regeneration will give her. They looked at each other for a while then he reached out and touched her face.

Oswin turned away and stood up. "I can't." Then she went back to her room; her mind and emotions in a complete mess, she closed the door behind her, leaned against it and sank to the floor.

She was wondering if she had made a big mistake.

* * *

tbc


End file.
